Scent of a Woman: FAIL

Scent of a Woman? more like Bored as a Woman-Viewer

fail, fail, triple-ty fail fail fail. Scent of a Woman is so slow and boring, even the stars in that promo poster look bored. 

i'm not sure what went wrong with this movie (both leads are attractive enough) other than the plot and story progression was just bland (and it even involved cancer!! how can this be?)

the male lead is good looking but a perfect example that stars don't necessarily need to all get the double eyelid surgery to look sexy and succeed on screen, because he had the deepest-set double eyelids i've ever seen (be it natural or not), and was sexy enough, but i still had zero interest in the show after watching just 30 minutes of it. and he just looked so bored and sleepy all the time.

this is how he looked in the entire show --  like a stagnant ken doll.

his face never reacted to anything -- which i normally like of my plastic ponies because it's indicative of just how much filler they shoveled into their faces, but this was too much. i think he was actually sleeping with his eyes open the entire series.

they even look bored here during a supposedly sexy moment!

also the female lead was so rail thin, it irked me. i wanted to feed her a big bowl of ramen and then some.

lastly, maybe i didn't watch enough with all 8 episodes i tortured self with before abandoning ship with gusto, but what.in.the.fuck does the title mean? who and why are we smelling a lady? 

this drama was the first one i could not finish -- and i'm extremely OCD about finishing everything that i start even if i hate it.

in other less ranty news, i started BIG with Gong Yoo and i LOVE it to bits and pieces. i will write an entry about how enamored i am with his impossibly tiny ball-point pen-tip head and how funny the story is so far next! so look out for that!

alright, let's never talk about Scent of a Woman again. stop smelling women!

hana, dul, set! press play.

Faith (The Great Doctor): Final Thoughts

Faith or sometimes called The Great Doctor
(I call it Ultimate Lee MinHo Action Time)

this was my first historical drama (sageuk), y'all, and at first i was like "what is going on, and why is my pretty pony's mane of luscious locks so long!" but i really wasn't complaining, just confused. (the more hair on LMH's pretty little head, the less there is wrong in the world…)

touch. touch. i want to touch.

not that i know that much about sageuks, but this one was unusual in that it had a fantasy aspect to it -- the high doctor came from the future in a leaf-blowing time warp thingy, and many of the characters had superpowers like lightening-fingers and fire-hands. 

he had like blowing power…and ridiculous white hair.

mix that in with the cartoon drawings that popped up from time to time, and the god-awful amazing hair styles, and it's just a giant jumble of "what the hell is going on...more screen time for LMH's marvelous made-up mug, please."

 that bandana and those side bangs. what is this, the 80s?

my overall thought: the story was interesting and the production was really great (loved all the pretty costumes that the queen and high doctor wore)

but there were too many episodes and the story was dragged out. i'm not well-versed enough in kdramas to know if this is possible, but they really should have made Faith a mini series, like 10 episodes. 

audiences would have been way more captivated by all the fruit ninja slashy-slashy sounds that continuously rang throughout the 20 episodes, and the plot and love story between LMH and high doctor wouldn't have dragged so much. 

besides, the series didn't really get interesting until the last 5 or so episodes (really, once LMH calls high doctor "imja" because i don't know what.the.fuck it means but i sure want him calling me that from his perfectly surgeon-puckered lips!)

and *SPOILER ALERT* the ending, though perhaps predictable and nothing new, was still very sweet. koreans do time travel well. that's right, have LMH waiting under a tree for her for however long it takes to grow a goatee, and set it to the cheesiest and most amazing ballad song ever. oh, the feels. 

give me that goatee, pony. give it to me good.

what should i watch next? i've started Scent of a Woman, but i'm afraid 6 episodes in, i don't really like it and find it extremely boring and snooze-worthy. this may just be the very first kdrama i abandon and don't finish! Another first!

hana, dul, set! press play.

Heirs: Final Thoughts

You get out, LMH, because your fluffy pink cardigan is distracting me. just kidding. come to me in all your fluffiness.

if you followed my previous entries on Heirs as i watched each episode, you'll know that the series didn't live up to my expectations (meaning, since Lee MinHo was in it, it was supposed to be panty-dropping worthy.)

me too, pony. me too.

the series is forgettable (which is why i hadn't updated this blog yet until now -- 2 weeks after i finished the series…because i forgot!), and with the exception of a few well-done, touching moments, there wasn't anything really spectacular, unique, new, or fresh in Heirs.

….except the wardrobe and all the male actors terribly lovely nipped and tucked faces. 

i can't help but want to play a round of chess on your perfectly plastic chest.

normally, when a drama ends and they do the montage -- as they always do -- of everything that has happened in the series, i usually get swept up in it and enjoy seeing everything again. by the end of a good series, i'll feel like i went on a journey with these characters and feel a sense of nostalgia looking back on the earlier moments. usually, if the drama is really good (like Boys Over Flowers or City Hunter or Coffee Prince), the montage will make me want to watch the series again.

none of this occurred with Heirs' montage and in fact, i just wanted it to end about halfway through to see who cha eun sang chooses so i could move on with life and onto my next LMH kdrama (don't judge me and my plastic pony love).

you get in, Park Shin-Cries-Alot. and give me that corgi umbrella. 

Park Shin Hye, though pretty and cute (obviously, not plastic enough….) was really annoying in Heirs. she was too helpless, spineless, and boring as a character -- very much a disappointment as the female lead (not to dump too much on PSH; a lot of it is the writers creating such an awful, meek female character).

next time, writers, let's try and have a more dynamic, assertive female with less overflowing tear ducts, yes? (that last stipulation, about the crying, is a must.)

i heard PSH got casted with my sexy Chil Bong (Yoon Yoo Suk) from Reply 1994 in a movie -- i'm for damn sure going to see that because of his pretty plastic face, but alas, that means i must sit through more of PSH's profuse tears. *sigh*

there's room in my heart for more than just one pony.

in the mean time, interwebz, i'm almost done (i told you i forgot about updating this blog because of the humdrum that was Heirs) with The Great Doctor (or is it called Faith?).

LMH action to the max!

yes, i got it bad. LMH is my sexy plastic overlord and i am his blind, devoted botox-worshiping subject. (ah yes, you can see that i am indeed knee-deep in Great Doctor…).  but alas, that is another entry for another time.

so…much…botox…I LOVE IT.

until then…

hana, dul, set! press play.

Heirs: Episodes 16 - 17. Kim Woo-Bin's forehead won me over.

the writers of Heirs really should have had what happens in episodes 16–17 occur earlier in the series. it would have kept the audience way more engaged instead of viewers rolling their eyes midway through because it was more of the same (crying, some creepy stalking, a ubiquitous dream catcher, and more crying). 

not the slightest bit creepy, right? CES's face says she kinda agrees.

after Kim Woo-Bin released his bangs and shielded the evil that was emanating from his bare forehead, he became so much more likable and cute. i found myself cheering for him after cha eun sang moved off to wherever that beach-exile place was with the book store.

at the police station after KWB found her and hugged the bejeesus out of her, and when he went to see her and instead ate with CES's mother, i squealed and thought i'd be totally okay if the storyline casted my beautiful plastic pony Lee Min Ho aside and had KWB and CES get together and make pretty pale babies. 

this made the show a little more exciting and engaging -- though it is a bit too late since it's within the last 4 episodes of the series. this development of KWB's character and his relationship with CES should have happened earlier.

what the series had done well, however, are the few and far between subtle and touching moments such as when LMH and CES walk past each other when they're grounded in the mansion and then they -- for a brief moment -- lock hands. also, ridiculously touching and squeal worthy: when KWB runs like a madman to find LMH because his mother is about to be sent away.

be still my raging racing heart -- that KWB can run better and sexier than any little plastic pony ever could. long bangs swooshing up and down in the air, giving way to the palest and most evil forehead anyone has ever seen. give me more. and give it to me in slow-motion, please.

now let's talk about LMH's lovely filler-saturated forehead. up until episode 17, i laughed every time LMH stepped on screen because his clothes were ridiculous, his face, though it has had many tweaks, honestly just looks too old to be in high school, and his character was lackluster. but behold, in this episode when he invites CES to accompany him to the lavish birthday party thrown for him by his sinister father, his hair is noticeably different and his bare, deliciously golden forehead is released for all the world to see. 

and what a dashing, heart-stopping forehead it is. clown shirts be damned, my swoon-worthy pretty LMH is back and i want to mount him like the perfect plastic pony that he is.

clearly, Heirs set out to make known the power of foreheads.

can't wait to see how this show wraps up and who else's forehead will be revealed.

what's hiding under those bangs, Rachel? hmm?

hana, dul, set! press play.

Heirs: Episode 6 - 15. I've found the source of Kim Woo-Bin's evil

so i'm more than halfway through the series, and out of no where, Kim Woo Bin's character changes his hair style from the high, slick back, perfectly plastered wave to a more shaggy, so-korean, side swoop bang that justin beiber blatantly ripped off from the koreans.

evil Kim Woo Bin's hair in the beginning of the series

and wouldn't know you it? his character becomes a little more likable, and he's a bit more open and kind in his interactions with cha eun sang. thus, obviously, the source of Kim Woo Bin's evil is his forehead. 

once his beautifully botoxed, pretty plastic forehead was shielded by a curtain of his lusciously dyed korean-red-orange#39 hair (that's the color on the dye box that every kpop star uses, obviously.), all the evil was gone from his pale precious face and all that remained was a surgeon's cutout of a mug that just yearns to be loved.

this story line makes perfect sense. 

especially the part where LMH runs up behind cha eun sang and rips her ponytail holder out of her hair, freeing her long mane of korean-red-orange#39––a public declaration that she's worthy to be seen with him (when her hair is down). the slow-mo effect of that scene made it all the more painful to watch amazing. 

i've noticed LMH has a rather abrupt and sometimes violent way with his co-star actresses. it used to bother me a lot when i watched Boys over Flowers how he threw Jandi around and yanked and pulled her here and there. i thought it was the character, but i'm starting to think it's just LMH's interaction with women in general. 

gentler, my lovely plastic pony. no need for such violence when everyone's so beautiful. 

LMH aside, i like KWB's character more now that his bangs have been let down and his evilness has subsided. i think they should have done this sooner (like when KWB came to CES's coffeeshop and confessed he was feeling lonely and wanted company…this could have been the opening for really sweet moments and more development between the characters love storyline---tasty cheesy moments instead of that cheap spraycan cheese Heirs has been shoving down our throats). 

Heirs needs more subtle sweet moments (allowing for storyline development) and less drastic, abrupt "i love you, i must protect you" scenes. KWB's character is ripe for exploiting the typical arc of: he's a bad boy on the outside because he comes from a broken home, but on the inside he's a sweet and sensitive teddy bear and he only shows that side to a special someone (cha eun sang!!). 

i think that character arc would draw in a lot more viewers' sympathy for KWB and explain more of why he likes her so much. because right now, it's a very empty story of LMH likes her, KWB likes her. you're not sure why and you don't really believe it because there's so little development between them.

there's enough collagen to go around, boys. but, i must say CES (played by Park Shin Hye) has a rather natural-looking, pretty face. 

there's a softness and actual movement in hers that many other kdrama stars don't have--AND I HATE IT. 

i hope she doesn't tweak anything else. she should take advantage of the fact that she can move her eyebrows and learn more facial expressions other than just crying. 

hana, dul, set! press play.

Heirs: Episodes 5-6

so. much. crying.

cha eun sang always looks like she's on the verge of tears -- it's pretty much the only reaction she has to everything. i was sure she was going to jump in when evil kim woo-bin was torturing that giant-hipster-glasses guy at his locker and at least yell, "YA!" really loud -- or like cut off some of his preciously molded hair or something remotely exciting.

but no, she cried. 

also, the clothes on this series are laughably awesome. every time LMH enters the shot, i feel like he just got done rummaging through his best friend's closet -- and his best friend is a clown. highlighter yellow pants with a sweater covered in christmas ornaments = sex. all of it.

merry christmas to all! and to all a good sweater.

also, can we give a shout out to that amazingly small woman (Park Joon Geum) who always plays the angry mother? she was in Secret Garden and pretty much played the exact same character. when she walked out to meet her husband's mistress at the art gallery in her 10-inch hot pink heels and was still 6 inches shorter than everyone else, i just wanted to pick her up and put her in my pocket. how can someone be so small -- i'm pretty sure she's part leprechaun. absolutely positive.

lucky charms! magically delicious!

ya know what else there is a lot of in this series besides tears? cheese. there is a lot of cheese in this one. and i really like cheese, but i wish there were more jokes or funny parts. every single moment you're watching Heirs, you feel like someone is about to die going off of their stone-serious facial expressions and the crazy dramatic music. and it's kind of jarring how little development the characters' feelings for one another is given considering this is a korean drama. it's supposed to be like 20 episodes of do they like each other or don't they like each other, of he likes me, he likes me not, she likes me, she likes me not. LMH's character, right off the bat, is like edward cullen-ing her ass. like "let me drive you in my armor car so you don't break" and "i'm going to run vampire-fast to say hello to you because i super like you" every second. it's a bit too much too fast and hard to believe (yes, even by kdrama standards).

andddddd, i love that song they play every single time LMH comes out from behind the corner and stares at eun sang. every episode ends with LMH and KWB giving cha run sang the love-death stare. it's so romantic and sweet and not the least bit creepy.

they zero in on her like she's a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie and they're both santa clause after a long night of chimney shimmying. i wish men stared at me like they wanted to eat me alive. it's so romantic.

see that little leaf on the right hand side? LMH is hiding behind it.

also not creepy -- how the dream catcher somehow always manages to find itself hanging right above cha eun sang no matter where she is. *high five* LMH. you're everywhere. and you're tall, so that means you're good at hanging dream catchers.

i love all of it and am already watching episode 7 while i type this.

hana, dul, set! press play.

Heirs: Episode 2-4

if it weren't for the fact that everyone's so pretty in Heirs (that's how all kdramas get you!), i may have gotten bored of the show already -- though to be fair, i usually don't get really into a drama until a handful of episodes in. so i'll probably love Heirs as much as i love my mother. and that's like almost as much as i loved Boys Over Flowers.

plus, the sets and surroundings are gorgeous, too. it's fun to see california and america, in general, as the backdrop of a korean drama. i wonder if the american actors they hired had any idea who they were standing next to.

there's one scene where LMH's blonde surfer friend (easily the worst actor in the entire series) lays his arms around LMH's broad, sexy shoulders and taps his barehand on LMH's magical unicorn chest. 

amazeballs.  had he ran his fingertips across LMH's filler-stuffed face, i would have died with raging envy. 

i wish everyone in Heirs had a little more facial expressions as the scenes are played out, but i understand: a wiggle of the eyebrows isn't always feasible for the plastic perfect and that's ok.

i hope the pacing of the show picks up a bit as i move forward in the episodes. i think so far it's been a lot of story set up:

• he's filthy rich but unhappy because of mama issues, but he's tall
• she's poor but a great spirit who is loved by every man who lays eyes on her -- but yet, her life is like really hard, y'all
• there's this one dude who's rich but -- according to his permanently furrowed brows -- is a angry elf who probably just wants to be loved (i love that Kim Woo Bin's ears are always a different color from the rest of his face bc of all the caked-on foundation. it's the best)
• and then there's the cute best friend who will do everything for the girl but will probably serve as that chair in the living room no one sits in

also, i loved when they were driving on the california highway with a new jersey license plate. new jersey is just next door. it makes total sense.

hana, dul, set! press play.

Heirs: Episode 1, Lee Min Ho Wins Perfect Plastic Face

i just started Heirs and there's a lot of crying in the first 30 minutes. like a lot.

so far, there's nothing about this drama -- other than a whole line up of really bad english-speaking actors, and uncomfortably spoken english from some of the korean actors -- that is any different from other story lines (it's ok Lee Min Ho, you're still tall and that's like super important in kdrama world). plus, i, in no way, want to discourage the korean drama world from featuring english in the shows (it's adorable), and they filmed heirs like 7 hours from my house...so i was almost able to lick his face...please film in california again, korean drama overlords. make it happen.

Heirs reminds me in particular of Coffee Prince (<3) because the main female lead is a fried chicken delivery person and struggling to make ends meet for her mom and sister. there must not be an in-between in korea: you're either poor and must deliver chicken to hungry, attractive men or you're the daughter of a business mogul and wear really high heels. 

korea is awesome.

as a side note, Lee Min Ho should probably stop fucking with his face now. i can understand a little nip and tuck to get his career going (i saw young LMH in Mackeral Run…cute, but nip-and-tuck away, i say)

and really, *high five* to the surgeon that brought him on board the plastic-persuasion-pretty-faces-club in City Hunter, because i'd like to shake that man's hand and then put his magical phalanges to work on my mug

but enough is enough. too many tweaks, LMH, and your face is going to be pure plastic -- or as i would say MAGNIFICENTLY PERFECTLY PLASTIC PAAAAA-YEAHHH. 

stop it! the plastic perfection hurts my eyes

…and oddly enough, makes me crave a crunchy plastic water bottle. 

anyone else thirsty?

anyway, my plastic radar also sounded off at the beautiful sighting of Kim Woo-Bin.

his face had an odd shine to it in the opening scene we see him in, and leads me to believe that there is new, cutting-edge technology that literally allows surgeons to inject shiny plastic -- like the kind children's toys and fake christmas trees are made of -- into our skin. GIVE IT TO ME.

stay tuned for my thoughts on episode 2!

hana, dul, set! press play.

Reply 1994

first of all, can this title and series be any more confusing? i watched and loved Answer Me 1997 -- which i am told is sometimes referred to as Reply 1997. then came along a "sequel-prequel of sorts" called Reply 1994 which may be also known as Answer Me 1994….to top it off, it featured the same parents as the first drama with the same jokes (the mother makes an outrageous amount of food each time she cooks).

you're probably already bored and that's ok, because i'll just win you over much like how Reply 1994 won the skeptical me over…with this pretty plastic face:

meet chil bong. i was really uninterested in the series until his perfectly made up face pranced onto the screen. my plastic radar wailed with excitement at his well-crafted mug. 

when he laughs, i can see all his fillers start to migrate to the center of his face and my pants come off. 

the series recently ended and the story line was rather entertaining until the last 3 episodes or so. its storyline is identical to its predecessor, Answer Me 1997 (or whatever the fuck you wanna call it), involving close friends (described in the show as almost siblings) who share a one-sided love that blossoms (of fucking course) into two-sided love and then legitimate marriage (though Answer Me 1997 was refreshing because it had a baby out of wedlock. premarital sex is scandalous and sexy.).

i hated the ending of Reply 1994 because obviously chil bong should have ended up with na jeong. the guy that she ends up with makes for a strange and creepy pairing because they were so sibling-like (incest is not sexy). and the last episode was incredibly boring -- like the writers called it a night before actually coming up with any ideas other than "the end."

what the drama did do well was the friendships between all the boarders. that development was downright cute and i wanted to be friends and go to noribong with all of them. except maybe Samcheonpo (played by Kim Sung Gyun), he was odd and it was not cute.

but mostly because chil bong liked to take his shirt off often and for really weird nonmoving facial expressions during moments like this:

amazing.

plus, i'd like to lick all that caked-on foundation off of chil bong's plastic, beautiful face. 

and, they ate a lot of ramen and that shit looked good. 

now that i've finished Reply 1994…or is it 1997…what should i watch next? i'm debating between Big (because Gong Yoo's pretty plastic face gets my britches in a bundle) and Heirs (because i don't speak korean and without subtitles never know what Lee Min Ho is saying, but he can say it all over my face).

hana, dul, set! press play.

My First Time

i remember my first time fondly. 

i had quit my job and found myself in-between places. here i was unemployed with a lot of time on my hands and bitter -- oh, so bitter -- when a friend of mine suggested i fill my idle time with some korean drama love.

i had heard about korean dramas often in high school and college. my asian american friends would sit at home with their asian mothers and laugh at the silly plots and cry when the characters got cancer (they always get cancer.), but other than a giggle or two here and cancer there, i knew nothing else about the illuminating world of kdramas.

so when my friend suggested i watch "12 Signs of Love" because "it's cute," i said okay. why not? what else was i going to do with 8 hours of my day -- walking to and from the fridge could only eat up so much time.

for the most part, it was entertaining and nothing else. it filled my time and gave me something to do while i ate away my sorrows. that was until the very moment that Bae Geu Rin's perfectly plastic and unmoving face lit up my laptop screen. it was clearly plastic from tip to toe and it was fucking perfect.

i wanted to simultaneously brush my fingers across her deeply doubled eyelids and lick the tip of her high, pointy nose to see if it tasted like a plastic water bottle. 

i was in love with this world that thought such extreme perfection was okay. not a pimple in sight, the natural curves of an unsoldered face was no where to be found. and it was amazing.

from that point on, i devoured kdramas like a city hunter patrolling the world of internet-television for every small-faced, pointy chinned starlet and star-man that i could find. they all looked the same, and i fucking loved it. 

korean dramas, and the characters who dance, karaoke, drink, fight, fall in love, and not-sex-each other in them, are like an explosion of glitter mixed with giant doll eyes and lots and lots of sweaters. it's a fun escape from the borrringggg real world where there's more than 1 face shape and no one makes dramatic u-turns in ferraris in the middle of busy intersections.

join me as i continue to gorge myself on every drama series i can get a hold of here in the US and for my never-ending quest to lick all the pretty plastic faces in the world of korean dramas.

and if you have suggestions on any drama series (korean or not) that i should check out, please leave them in the comments section.

hana, dul, set! press play and say yes to pretty plastic faces.